A woman came to me to stop smoking. She only slightly reduced the amount she smoked after the first session so another approach was necessary. She mentioned a few times in different ways how it seemed as though she has another part of her that hijacks her behavior, “I have like a shadow self where I go blank and another part of me takes control. And the next day, my mind is set: I am going to the store to get cigarettes.”
Anytime I hear someone describe something similar to having another part influence behaviors, my first thought is to use Parts Therapy to see if I can engage that other part and negotiate a way for it to stop the behavior (or shift it to something beneficial). One thought remained, however: the client mentioned multiple times about not just another part, but a whole other person, that “shadow self.” This often signals a spiritual attachment so I had to be ready should such a thing arise.
I understand that speaking to “parts” of someone as though it has its own voice is a little odd and seemingly schizophrenic. And what is beyond odd is the other thing… a spiritual attachment! With both of these, I can’t scientifically prove that I’m having a real conversation with either. It’s quite likely it is just some sort of subconscious mind dreamlike phenomena that, for whatever reason, really helps people heal mentally and sometimes even physically. For me, it doesn’t really matter what is happening from a scientific viewpoint. The client heals, long-term, with no negative mental repercussions.
FYI: Shamans have been doing this for generations. They remove the parts or the spirits themselves. With hypnosis, if the client is capable, we guide them through the process.
Once she was deeply relaxed I reached out to the part, asking it to acknowledge its presence. “I am here,” she/it said. I continued using phrasing pertaining to “the part,” thanking the part for communicating, telling it that I am just a mediator, that while it’s causing problems for her I know it’s being done with positive intent, etc. Soon after she kind of halted the session and said, “I feel like it’s not a part inside of me. It’s like another being outside of me. It’s with me, but it’s not me, if that makes any sense.”
Yes, it made sense. There is an attachment influencing her behavior. I had to shift my whole plan into something I frankly was hoping would not surface. I had to; a) figure out a way to get this entity to communicate and negotiate its own surrender, which can be very challenging, and b) eventually get it to move into the Light, willingly, lovingly, and peaceably. In other words, I have to figure out a way to convince a purposely manipulative, sometimes evil entity to willingly end its entire existence.
In these cases, there is no way to start out with a definitive plan; every entity is different. More significantly, they tend to be highly intelligent, very misleading, and immensely manipulative. They/it will say whatever it needs in order to remain in control. And when a client is sitting across from you with tears in her eyes begging for help, it’s a scary thing to know only the end goal and not be able to have a solid blueprint due to the uniqueness of every case. Also, as you’ll soon see, once you get going, you can’t just stop in the middle with it unresolved. It has to be dealt with or it will forever remain because the client will be influenced to never come back. It is now or never.
On with the session…
Now speaking to the entity, I asked if there’s a title or name I could call it by.
“Pete,” she said.
She smiled. She seemed tickled at the silliness and humor of this name.
(After the session, I mentioned the name Pete and she laughed. She said that the entity was kind of condescending towards me, a mere human. SHE didn’t need a name because they just know and communicate. She said that Pete told her, “Ok, I’m going to give just any name to make him happy so I don’t have to explain this other realm of existence and how using a name is a terribly inefficient means of identification.”)
I thanked Pete for communicating and asked him simple questions at first. I got no response and felt like he was annoyed. After a long time of silence I thought Pete left and asked the client, “Pete stated that he is willing to communicate. Is he still here?”
More silence, and then SHE said, “I feel a stubborn, cold, masculine, dark energy, ‘Have to think she’s up to no good,’ he’s thinking. His shoulders are back to me. He’s here but he doesn’t really want to be.”
After more silence and me trying to initiate at least some sort of communication, she said, “It came to me when I was younger. Like a flip, something shifted. I was 10 or 11. I was different from that point on.”
I got the feeling that Pete was an alpha-male, masculine, could care less about me and what I thought or said of him. So, to build rapport, I treated him the same. I was blunt, cold, hinting at disapproval and disgust.
“Why her?” I asked. “She was just a little girl.”
With every response, there was a long silence but it seemed like there was some sort of mental activity so I had to wait for him/her to talk. “She was open, innocent. I could fulfill my suffering in her torment, double-sided [something I didn’t understand]. I wasn’t ready to leave this plane so I integrated in her so I could live and exist.”
I noticed the word “suffering” and thought I had something I could use; “If you’re suffering, why continue to suffer?”
“It’s what I know.”
“Why don’t you stop?” I asked. “Why not just end the suffering? You said you chose her to fulfill your suffering. I get the impression that you are above allowing a little girl to cause you suffering and that you don’t particularly enjoy forever suffering. So why not just end it?” There was no response, but it was more like he was thinking instead of not wanting to answer so I challenged, “Are you ABLE to leave?”
“That never seemed possible. That was never an option. It was how I lived, who I was, part of my makeup.” There was more contemplative silence.
SHE spoke up, “So I see this lineage, generation after generation of torment. One dies, he finds another.”
I asked, “Pete, why are you here? It can’t be just to prolong your suffering. What is your purpose?”
“I see an opportunity and I excite them. I move from one body to another.”
Now that he was communicating more freely, I asked an earlier question, “Why did you choose this little, innocent girl?”
“She was open intuitively. Innocent, and wasn’t blocked.”
“How did you do this?” I asked.
“Are you able to leave?” I asked.
“She has to become aware that I exist. I will always exist in continuum, until she figures it out.”
This surprised me! Did he just tell me what I needed to know in order to get him to leave? But attachments are extremely manipulative so I was purposely snide, openly doubting, “So that’s it? That’s all she has to do to get you to leave?”
It seemed like he was cocky and had no problem explaining how things work because there’s no way a simple human could hurt or control him. “It hasn’t happened before,” he said. “It hasn’t happened that way. My purpose… tormenting her, telling her she’s not good enough. I make her justify her bad behaviors and explore treacherous grounds that lay inside her.”
I recalled how she described in the first session that she had a wild-child streak in her and that she did things that were stupid and dangerous just for the thrill of it.
I asked, “Where do you exist? And where will you go if you leave?”
He seemed kind of bothered at the question, I could hear it in the tone of his voice – bothered at the simplicity and bothered that I even thought for a second that he would leave. And he seemed bothered that I made him stoop so low as to have to waste his time trying to explain. “I exist on a plane that you can’t see or know, but we’re right next to you.”
After the session, she described how she was translating what he said and how she felt he was thinking, like, “Let me put it in human terms.” That’s why there were long moments of silence, she explained. “Pete was trying to figure out the translation for you.”
Since Pete stated that the only thing needed for him to go away is, “She has to become aware that I exist,” I needed to ensure that every base was covered before I just sent him away. I needed to make sure that SHE would allow Pete to go.
I told Pete that I was going to talk to [host] and asked him to confirm that he’d return when I called out to him. He did. So, I asked Host if it would be OK to send Pete away, to detach him from her.
To my surprise, she said, “Today? Now?! This is really intense. Shouldn’t we wait?” She was not expecting to eliminate this “shadow self” so suddenly.
I asked various questions in different ways, all with the theme, “What BENEFIT does he provide you?”
Initially she said none, but I didn’t believe her. When we first spoke, she talked about being the wild child, the one who had fun, who brought friends to push themselves to uncomfortable worlds. She described this as though she were proud.
“Search deep inside and tell me your inner truth. Do not tell me what you think I want to hear when you don’t really mean it. You… YOU need to search your entire body, your spirit, every aspect of YOU and tell me the benefits.”
She kind of changed the subject. She seemed really troubled that she’s going to lose her partner in crime (for the lack of a better description.) “I can’t do it today, though. Something has to fill this space. It can only be done if the awakening is powerful enough to fill his shoes, THEN it can happen. But…”
I watched her face slowly and very subtly transform as though she were having a conversation in which she realized it had to be done. Another long pause before she spoke again with a certain apprehension, but also with acceptance, in her voice, “There has to be some process of laying him down, some ritual to move him away, of putting him away completely.”
“You are absolutely right,” I said. “I have a ritual. I know exactly what to do.”
“Good!” she said immediately, like she cared about Pete and didn’t want anything bad to happen to him.
“And you will hear everything so you’ll know that it happens willingly and joyfully,” I said.
Before I continued, I asked if there was anything she’d like to say to Pete? “A lot! It is a 20-year relationship.” She then asked, “Do I have to have the conversation out loud?” She seemed relieved when I said no. She spent a long time in thought, cried a little, smiled – basically she looked like she was having a long conversation in her head.
I told her to signal to me when she was done and completely satisfied. After the signal, I asked Pete how he felt. He surprised me when he said he felt really good. He seemed sincere. Happy. Relieved. But I felt I should challenge him just to be sure. I asked why he spent all these years tormenting her, telling her she’s not good enough, pushing her towards bad behaviors.
He said, “That’s how pain expresses itself.”
I circles this in my notes. It was powerful and profound and yet so simple, That is how pain expresses itself.
He was in pain! This gave me a slight revelation: “So, even with all the bad things you’ve done to literally generations of innocent people, there is still good inside you?”
But I was leading to something else: “Is there love?”
It took a while but eventually the face lit up with a look of proud realization, “Yes.” And then another, louder, surprised, “Yes!”
All of this time I was trying to come up with a way for this entity to willfully leave. I had ideas but nothing definitive. In this write-up, I didn’t share everything I said and everything I asked because I just can’t take notes that fast. But we talked a fair amount of time, him answering my many questions while I searched for that “in.” I needed to find that way to get him to leave and finally, once and for all, stop entering into other “open, innocent” bodies. I searched for a way he could go into the light. And when he said he had Love within him, I knew what I was going to do.
I told him to look around for light. “It doesn’t have to be bright or large or anything you may expect it to be. Just find any light source.” He eventually found one. I told him to totally embrace the love that he had within him, to take his time and magnify it, move it into every part of his existence. Then I asked if he feels any pull or attraction to the light. He said he did.
(I also wanted to make sure that the light was good. Sometimes it’s a false heaven, a false good, that sucks people (entities) in. When this happens, the light seems good at first and then as they get closer something happens that’s a little odd or unexpected. Sometimes it’s a weird thing, like, “My shoes feel funny when I walk, like they’re too tight.” Something can run by, like an animal. Or they’ll see a bug, anything that distracts them for just a fraction of a second. If anything strange at all happens, and they’ll often only show it in their face without saying anything, I immediately pull them back and away from the light. And then usually as I start to pull them away, the light changes into something vicious or evil looking and lashes out in anger. It’s pretty intense when it happens. But once that is seen, once it is “caught” so to speak, the client then has power over it and they can just walk away unphased. Then the real light appears.)
I tested it. I reminded him of the torment, how he destroyed self-esteem and caused her to doubt feeling cared for and loved, all those things he said he did in this host and to all the others. I then challenged him to test that part of him to see if any of that is drawn to the light. He said no. I pushed the issue once more and he stated more confidently, “NO.”
That’s all I needed. I told him to embrace the attraction that his love felt towards the light and let him be drawn into it. Just allow it, enjoy it, feel it fill his entire existence.
One last check with Host: “Pete is about to leave forever. Are you OK to let him go? You must ask every part of you – that rebel, that wild child, the one with the tattoos, the life of the party, the one who smoked even after she learned she was pregnant – are you totally in 100% agreement that he can go?”
When she said yes (with conviction) I reminded her that even though she is totally and entirely releasing Pete into the light, his legacy of everything good, any imprint, any positive aspect whatsoever will be REMEMBERED, but ONLY the good, only the love. I said, “Absolutely no part of him will remain with you, but you will fill that void with love and strength and caring [and other goals that she wanted to achieve].”
I realized something as I was saying this, however. I said, “But actually, I mis-spoke. You will not ‘fill that void.’ Pete’s torment and pain SUPPRESSED many of your positive traits. He didn’t remove them; he just forced them down like a very heavy blanket. All of those positive traits will reawaken. You will come alive! Your gifts and natural talents and intuitiveness and… essentially everything that can be combined into that one all-encompassing word – LOVE – will come screaming back with your newfound freedom. You will once again be your true self.”
I suggested that she watch Pete step into the light. “He’s waving. He’s smiling! I never thought I’d see him smile.” And then I told her to breathe into every cell, every organ, every aspect of her body, mind, spirit, and throughout her entire incarnating consciousness this newfound freedom and awakening. “Take all the time you need and let me know when all is done by taking in a very deep breath and nodding your head Yes.”
I slowly brought her back into the room by reversing the process I used to help her achieve a deeply-relaxed state.
After the session she said, “I know exactly when it happened. I was in my room. I was playing just before bed, pretending something, hiding in my closet, and I stepped out. Everything after that moment changed. Everything changed…
“I explored this with other therapists. I even went to a hypnotherapist who took me to this point multiple times to help me remember what happened. Each time I got to that point, I always drew a complete blank and could never go further. I remembered nothing from that point.”
Because of her sudden personality change and because of so many other signals that indicated a classic case of sexual abuse or molestation; her therapists treated her with this in mind. They actually LED her to this belief by asking horribly leading questions, like:
“Did you know he was in the room with you?”
“What did he do to you?”
“Did he touch you?”
“How did you resist?”
“What did you do after it happened?”
“All these years,” she said, “even though I never recalled or saw anything specific, I had the feeling that the therapists had to be right. They influenced me to believe that I was molested. All these years! Because after that, my life changed.”
Often when kids are abused, they just leave the body to escape the moment and not have to experience the horrible thing. They sometimes fractionate, change personalities, exhibit bi-polar behavior. Some become rebellious, act like they are not good enough, seek attention – including negative attention, have low self-esteem, do things that are treacherous and exhibit self-destructive behavior, and they somehow justify these behaviors in one way or another.
She did ALL of these things due to the influence of Pete, her attachment. Those are exactly the things he said he did to fulfill his suffering. Exactly what he did because, “That’s how pain expresses itself.”
(Side note: the influence by attachments varies significantly. For example, some cause suicidal thoughts and depression.)
All these years, because of this instant change in her and who she was, and because of the therapists leading her down that path, she thought she’d been molested and that her mind just blocked it out due to self-preservation. She gasped at this revelation. But it wasn’t like she was going to hold on to this in a negative way, like, “Why did they do that to me?!” Instead, she breathed like she was truly coming alive.
It was an inspiring thing to see.
Oh! I forgot to detail something else she said near the end of the session. I asked her subconscious how she can ensure that the void is filled with good.
“I have to be mindful. I have to live, especially the next 2-3 days, as much as possible completely aware and mindful of as many things, as many GOOD things, in my world. Being mindful and present will fill that void.”
I then suggested one thing to strengthen this, “You must do things, anything, that you absolutely love. It doesn’t have to be the GREATEST thing. It does not have to be profound. Just anything, anything at all. You must promise me now, PROMISE ME that you will do things that you truly, deeply love and enjoy.”
“And are you thinking of something right now?”
“Good, so you’ll be mindful, like you said and you’ll do that thing, right?”
After the session I asked her what she’s going to do; “I’m going fly fishing!” And then she described this in detail and why she loved it and many other things about it that I didn’t know (which I asked because I wanted her to get a head start in filling her body with Love).
THIS… This session, this experience, is why I do hypnosis. Every time it’s an amazing journey; this time, even more than normal.
If anyone is interested or curious about this subject, the following is a good article about attachments. There are other articles on this site, but I have not read them so I can’t vouch for them.
Thank you for exploring this world with me.